Healing 101
Part of the way we were abused as children was to destroy our self esteem so we thought we were valueless. This made us easier to control. Its important for us to heal and:
Learn to value ones self.
Learn to set boundaries.
Learn to say no when needed.
Learn to feel safe in our bodies.
Learn to feel safe around others.
Learn to be around those who are good for us.
Because we are used to being harmed we can fall into the trap of attracting those who are like what we are used to rather than making the effort to change. These things take time and its a step by step process but every step of healing has a wonderful domino effect and increases our enjoyment of ourselves, others and life..
What has helped me
Some podcasts I have done with other survivors and interviewees;
Victim Identity and Personal Responsibility with Max Lowen & Rachel Vaughn
The resilience of the human spirit with Max & Rachel
Family abuse, resilience & recovering ourselves with Max & Rachel
Understanding disassociation with Max and Rachel
The Journey from MKUltra to self love with Emma from the Imagination
Psychic abilities and spiritual gifts panel with Emma, Max and Rachel
1. Cognitive (mind) healing modalities
Start reading and get informed. Also plenty of videos online and podcasts.
Try different modalities and see what works for you at the time.
Become familiar with different modalities and try different therapists.
Transactional analysis is a good start - eg I'm OK youre OK, and looking at
parent adult child relationships.
Psychotherapy. If you are not used to speaking it helps you get used to it.
I started with this but once I had mastered talking about myself I then
progressed onto other modalities.
Dissociative therapy. I had a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder (DID)
and I found this really helpful learning how to love and integrate my
fragmented parts.
IFS Internal family systems. I haven't done this but talked to many friends
who have and found great benefit. It is similiar to dissociative work in its
structure.
Book - Becoming yourself - book by Alison Miller - Has some great strategies
for overcoming Mind Control & Ritual Abuse
2. Body (somatic) healing Modalities
It's not just our consciousness that carries trauma but our body does as well.
Psychologist Dr Peter Levine - Book - Waking the tiger: healing trauma.
Psychiatrist Bessel Van der Kolk - Book - The body keeps the score.
Psychologist Dr Gabor Mate - Book - the Myth of normal.
Alexander technique - Our trauma pulls our body out of balance so holding
the body in balance brings up the trauma.
Feldencrais. Body and behaviour. Awareness through movement.
Tai Chi -
Breathwork - breathing slowly
Meditation -
Self defence - learning different self defence techniques builds confidence in the ability to self protect.
Body building - getting stronger is another way to build confidence in
self protection
Massage - Professional & experienced masseur. Learning safety with touch.
Sexological body work.
Psychedelic Healing
Psychedelics are being used more and more to deal with PTSD and trauma with a significantly higher rate of success than pharmaceuticals. Psylocybin (magic mushrooms) for example helps calm the amygdala (trauma response) so memories are accessible often without the fear so they can then be processed.
Mind Medicine Australia - Use of psychedelics in therapy.
How to change your mind - podcast by Michael Pollan
How Psilocybin can rewire our brain - podcast by Andrew Huberman
3. Spiritual healing modalities
We are soul, so spirit is an important part of us. Particularly if our bodies arnt safe then spirit can become our safe and healing place. Remember who your soul is.
Past life regression - Michael Newton - Journey of Souls
Life between life regression - Michael Newton
Near death stories - Next level soul podcast - Alex Ferrari.
Book - Testimony of light by Helen Greaves
Akashic records. Records of past, present and future.
Psychic support. Rachel Vaughan a survivor of RSA offers psychic readings
as well as psychic training.
Ley line - Save the ley lines
Spiritual belief systems - people come from many beliefs but for our race
to survive we must love one another.
Religious belief systems can provide a level of certainty and familiarity but they can also be another form of programming (repetitive actions and words) and mind control.
4. Substance healing modalities
For many people popping a pill is a quick and convenient way of dealing with trauma. Yes it may have a numbing effect so you can operate your day but long term it may not be healing you. There are many pharmaceuticals people take but I am not experienced in that area as chose not to take them. When my brother was killed the doctor gave me antidepressants and it turned me into a zombie who couldn't feel and I lost all motivation. Three days later I went back to the doctor and said "my brother is dead, it's meant to hurt". I threw them in the bin and never took them again. So I wont comment on what I am not personally experienced in.
The direction I took in life was herbalism for my health and later psychedelics. I reasoned with myself that I could trust my ancestors over previous millennia knowing what worked for them and what didn't rather than big Pharma who as we now know tragically and clearly are after customers and not cures. I have found this path to be very beneficial for me. It hasn't been the easiest path but for me I think it has been the best.
Psychedelics are being used more and more to deal with PTSD and trauma with a significantly higher rate of success than pharmaceuticals. Psylocybin (magic mushrooms) for example helps calm the amygdala (trauma response) so memories are accessible often without the fear so they can then be processed.
Mind Medicine Australia - Use of psychedelics in therapy.
How to change your mind - podcast by Michael Pollan
How Psilocybin can rewire our brain - podcast by Andrew Huberman
Researching your past
When my memories first started coming back it was hard to place them and I thought where does all this come from. With time and research I was able to place dates, places and people to my history and so validate the memories that were coming through. It took time and I found to do a bit and then take a break and ponder through what I had done and learnt and then do some more and so on worked really well. I kept notes and records including hard copies on paper.
Some of the ways I researched to build a solid body of facts that back up my memories were as follows. Also see the history section as I will be posting research as it comes to hand;
1. Memories; Trust yourself!. Write down your memories, no matter how strange or out there they seem, in word or art. With time and research often they come to make sense. That's been my experience. In the beginning some of my memories were like 'What?!' And now they are 'aaagh,' now that makes sense, I see where that fits in. With time as you do this and when you are ready, more memories will come.
2. Family documents - get a copy of as many of these as possible, especially those with family, friends and associates in them. I found in researching my past it was the company they kept that gave me the connections to the intelligence agencies, the government, corrupt officials, criminals and so on. I was able to take these names, organisations and places and research news stories about them and sure enough followed a trail that validated what I had remembered.
3. Family stories - Write down what you've been told and file this but don't take it as fact unless you are sure and have it backed up by multiple sources. My mother would tell me all sorts of lies about my past to confuse me, gaslight me to make me question myself and throw me off track and also attack me. The more I researched the more her lies became evident. My brother told me a huge pile of his memories of his abuse and then 2 weeks later came and told me he had made it up. I knew he hadn't and all his memories validated mine, so I kept a record of them.
4. Geneology There are extensive resources online as well as Genealogy sections in most libraries. There are also a lot of books to guide you through. One that I have found very helpful is as follows;
Scottish Genealogy (4th edition) by Bruce Durie. Even if you are not Scottish it explains a lot about researching, types of DNA tests etc.
5. DNA tests - I got my family DNA tests for Christmas one year. It uncovered a lot of surprises and brought into question a lot of what I had been told. A significant amount of people find their family may not be the relations they thought or were told they were.
Also keep in mind cult families bloodlines are very important and the bloodline members are above the non bloodline members. There are also significant obvious genealogical traits with ritual abuse survivors of bloodlines including heterochromia, and so on. Incest within cult families is also predominant and can result in genetic deformities such as cleft palates, club feet, Habsburg jaw and so on. Many of us have interesting healing abilities as well as pronounced psychic abilities.
6. Location History; Read about the areas where you grew up, what happened in those areas by whom and at what time. This gives valuable clues. Also research the local institutions you attended including schools, colleges, clubs, hospitals and so on. Do any of them have books about their history? What about politics in the area at that time, who was in power and what decisions were made? Was there cult activity in the area? masonic? did children go missing, murders etc. All this provides pieces to the puzzle.
7. Listen to other survivors stories. This was of huge benefit to me as I saw very distinct patterns between what I and other survivors had gone through across the world. They use the same playbook. Often as Id be listening to other survivors testimonies I'd be thinking "I went through that", or "they did that to me" and so on. Also I noticed there were definite patterns in how we as survivors were treated by authorities and how they refused to act, tried to undermine us and also tried to incarcerate us.
8. Research the cult/intelligence agency/political practices. This for me was incredibly helpful and in the page on resources I have listed numerous books I have read with a precis on each. These were invaluable and I was able to rely on other peoples research to empower my own.
Have a look at the resource page for lists of websites, books, movies and survivor stories
Podcasts - Many podcasters are now talking about and interviewing people about MKUltra as follows
DNA tests. Fingerprinting was first used in forensic science in 1986.
"Ancestry" was founded in 1996 by 2 Americans.
"MyHeritage" was founded in 2003 by Israeli.
With different DNA tests
In looking at cult history there are Countries where cults are stronger such as Italy (incorporated with the Mafia), Germany, Scotland, Ireland and England.
A youtube channel comparing DNA tests
Australian research resources;
Most libraries have local history sections and genealogy sections.
Trove - News articles dating before 1955.
Australian National Archives based in Canberra
Australian National Library based in Canberra.
State Library of NSW based in Sydney
Local Library - Kogarah Like most local libraries has a local history section
Kogarah Local Historical Society - typical of most areas
Masonic Lodges often have books on their histories.
Of note.
At the end of the second world war America, Australia, Canada and the UK took in most of Germany's occult scientists who had done horrific experiments on the Romano Gypsies and the Jews. They wanted their expertise and research. This was called Operation Paperclip and well worth educating yourself over. Some of these scientists were given prominent positions in the United States Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and one Werner von Braun even headed up National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). This NAZI culture of evil then pervaded these organisations and allegedly they attracted birds of a feather like the Italian Mafia and became bedfellows. This resulted in many Government Organisations becoming criminal enterprises where the CIA became involved in human trafficking, drug running and the like. There are numerous books on this. There are also allegations that the Illuminati were behind these new organisations and were a front group for them. They were also fascinated with hypnosis and mind control and under the excuse of "National Security" became experts in it at a time that Television was making its introduction to Society. As a little child the experiments these people and others did on me (and others) in Kogarah, Sydney as a way to program the masses through TV I still feel to this day. This program went by the name of MK Ultra.
The CIA brought MKUltra again to Sydney Australia in 1960. It was very involved at the time with the Psychology Department of Sydney University. Australian Sydney University Psychology student Psychologist Peter Sheehan worked with Martin Orne of the CIA and then Sheehan went back with Orne to the USA where he spent almost a decade doing further mind control research. Sheehan later came back to Australia and took on significant positions of influence including unsurprisingly the chief censor for Australian Television. Other students and staff at the Sydney University School of Psychology have been named by a litany of survivors (with corroborated stories/experiences) as their handlers, as occultists and as perpetrators of horrific child abuse.
Sydney University during the period of early to late 60s was connected to St George Public Hospital in Kogarah, Sydney during which time myself and other survivors of ritual abuse were born (including Fiona Barnett). St George Hospital in Kogarah was near Sydney International (Kingsford Smith) Airport which is significant as the CIA is one of the covert owners of airlines and aircraft. The NSW Government also made St George Hospital the hospital responsible for any aircraft emergency at the airport.
Kogarah is also in between the city of Sydney and Lucas Heights Nuclear Reactor (opened in 1958) and Holsworthy Army Base (established in the 1880s), both locations named by different survivors as locations where they experienced cult and ritualistic abuse at the hands of Intelligence Agencies.
What becomes apparent as one starts to research MKUltra in Sydney, Australia (and around the world) is that in the 1950s there was a massive transfer of power from Government and professional institutions to intelligence agencies, especially the CIA and ASIO. In Australia in the late 1950s a new law was brought in to restrict the age of doctors on Hospital Boards so this allowed the powers that be to retire many board members and replace with candidates of their own choosing. This also happened at St George Hospital in Kogarah.
The MKUltra and CIA activities however wern't restricted to Sydney and soon were being extended to other universities including Australian National University in Canberra (ANU) where Aldous Huxley's relative Leonard Huxley became vice Chancellor. Macquarie University, the University of Queensland and the University of Western Australia have all been alleged as institutions of interest with regards the CIA and MKUltra.