Typical programming. Trigger warning, abuse discussed.

When children (and adults) are used and abused by others, in order for the abusers to feel safer they try to program the abused not to remember. Realise that as the cowardly abusive perpetrators have a life based on fear (fear of consequence) they typically use fear (especially trauma) as a way to program their victims - typically defenseless children. However as programming is a very imperfect science (suggestibility, hypnosis, and trauma) abusers often then further waste their lives looking over their shoulders in fear of their victims remembering, retaliating and going to the authorities. At the same time in order to feel safe abusers also need to keep monitoring their victims in case they remember, which they eventually do. Being an abuser is a perfect way to waste your life, and rather than living in the moment enjoying life they typically live in regret of the past and fear of the future. The best solution for abusers is to come clean, apologize and make recompense for their actions. But karmically fear stops them doing that. So they become a slave to their own behaviour. What they put out they have attracted back.

Basic practices in CIA/RSA/MKUltra programming are suggestibility, hypnosis and trauma. Often the victim/child is put into a suggestible state where they question themselves. This can be through authority/bullying, neglect, abuse and/or drugs. It is also done through treating the child/victim like they are worthless and then harming them, the lie being they deserved it, which they did not. Once in a suggestible state it is easier then to hypnotize a child/victim into accepting the abusers programming. As the child is programmed then there is also the abuse to fracture the consciousness of the child/victim so memories of the abuse and programming are held in dissociative parts not accessible by the conscious 'front part'. This way the front part acts like a 'normal' human being not remembering the abuse. These are the secrets that the CIA, Cults and MKUltra program thrived on and actively worked to develop.

An example from my childhood is - my father would come into my room at night, climb into my bed with me and start penetrating me. As he did I would switch alters as I was programmed to do (which he knew how to trigger), my 'front person' would black out (go to a 'disconnected' alter) and I would not be 'front person' conscious. By morning when I woke up and was back to 'front person' conscious, he would be gone and I would get up and go to school as though nothing had happened. Even the pain would be blacked out. This way he thought he could get his pleasure and continue the ancestral bloodline trauma essential to the cults. Meanwhile my body knew and each time I was around him the anxiety in my body grew as did my repulsion towards him. The body knows and is the truth.

During the abuse the 'back parts' of the dissociative self would come forward as triggered or programmed to. With my back parts forward they tried throughout my childhood to program them to want the abuse. These parts were intended to be put there till triggered through different actions - we see this with false flag events where MKUltra subjects have their back person triggered to do heinous actions and then they switch back afterwards thinking what has just gone on. My father and mother could touch me in certain ways so I would switch into other dissociative parts that were much more controllable and usable. Very much like the movie/book The Manchurian Candidate. For example;

Later in life before seeing my mother I would tell myself not to tell her anything (she is a highly derogatory malicious gossip) yet when I saw her she would touch my arm and instantly I would tell her everything I hadn't wanted to. With time I learnt what she was doing. She was also a master of hypnosis and poisoning as I later realised.

In order to keep the internal dissociative parts of the psyche in check they are programmed through fear not to talk to each other. These different parts of the psyche are given illusory identities (typically of abusive parents, abusers etc) to keep the child parts fearful and obedient to their commands. In this way child parts are controlled and restricted from growing up. However it isn't just the mind that keeps the memories but also the body, so we can access our past through there. You may not remember a traumatic event in your head but your body still could have a reaction.

An example from my childhood is where my older brother Rick and I had to polish my fathers shoes to perfection every day that he was there (he often disappeared for extended periods). Just the feeling of his sweat in his shoes on my skin (hands) made me want to throw up. The revulsion was so strong that at the time I resisted doing his shoes even though the punishment was severe. I had been programmed not to cognitively remember him raping me but my body still remembered.

And so the life of a programmed child/person can be erratic as in feeling things and not being able to understand where they come from until the cognitive memories return.

Chainless salves - book on trauma based mind control by U.W.Ozion.

Suggestibility through;

Neglect. Destruction of a child's self esteem through neglect, abandonment and trauma.

Deprivation

Sleep deprivation can quickly cause people to hallucinate

Drugs

In the 1960s the CIA was extensively using LSD in experiments for suggestibility.Drugging with hallucinogenic drugs increases a persons susceptibility to programming. At one stage the CIA wanted to buy the worlds supply of LSD and during their MKUltra experimentation would give it secretly to people who were unaware they were being drugged.

Drugging with meth-amphetamines after being programmed through LSD can get people to behave in irrational and even murderous ways. This was part of the MKUltra program to get ordinary people to do heinous acts and then not remember them. In this way the CIA could create hidden assassins from ordinary people who would then take the fall for what they had been programmed to do whilst the culpable CIA demons could feign innocence.

Rewiring through;

Psychic forcing. This is where the same message is played over and over again for days, weeks to create a neural highway in a persons brain. TV functions on this principle. News flashes multiple times an hour, constant repetition of a narrative. The media knows that if you tell a lie often enough people will start to believe it. MKUltra doctor Ewan Cameron used this extensively in Canada.

Electrocution; Repeated electrocution of children (and adults) was another favoured way used by the CIA and the cults to reprogram people. Whenever the subject gave an unacceptable response they were electrocuted till they were given a right one. At other times children were repeatedly electrocuted to see what limits they had.

Blocking through dissasociation

We all have breaking points but children are more susceptible through early developmental stages. That's why it is particularly important for the bloodline cults to abuse children from birth or even in utero. A traumatised family line ensures the perpetuation of the bloodline.

Fracturing through fear based trauma

Fear is ...

Disassociation; Here children were put through the most appalling abuses including rape by parents, forced to participate in the sacrifice of other children and so on till the child's personality was fractured into a multitude of pieces. These pieces were then programmed to take on different roles in the child's psyche, some being internal perpetrators, internal controllers and blank front people.

Compromise, shame and guilt

This is where children (and adults) are put in positions where they were compromised so they can be then controlled. Think of Epstein and his ilk. As a little child I was totally neglected as a way to create a deficit in me (never hugged, talked to, treated with any value). Then at night my father would stimulate me (against my will) till I got an erection so he could try and convince me I wanted what he was doing to me. I didn't I hated it.

Once I was buried alive in a box in the sand and my older brother was told it was his fault that I was buried and I was going to die because he didn't do what he was told. It's all about manipulation.

A good friend as a little girl was put in a room with her mother and told by her uncle that he was going to rape one of them and she had to choose. She chose to protect her mother.

It is these appalling mind games that cult/intelligence members do. Often these things will be filmed as records to manipulate and control especially when its adults in positions of power they are subjecting these things to. Shame and exposure often force people into compliance.

Yet every time my abusers did these things to me and others I watched them diminish more and more till there was very little left of their souls. They thought they were clever and instead they were destroying themselves in the process. And then they end up destroying each other because all they can operate on is a dog eat dog basis. A friends father thought if he drank the blood of 100 humans he would get eternal life. She reckons he probably did it. He died 5 years ago. The deceivers are the most deceived of all.

Programming basics. Trigger warning, abuse discussed.

Undoing programming. Trigger warning, abuse discussed.

This is simplistic but gives you the idea. For more in depth Becoming Yourself by Alison Miller is a great reference guide.

For me this is what worked in healing my disassociation. This is quite similiar to but not the same as internal family systems. When you understand how our abusers fractured the psyche/internal parts through trauma and fear then you can start to work towards healing and integration.

In a simple internal system there are three layers, the top layer being 'perpetrators', the middle layer being 'soldiers' and the bottom - often child layer being 'servants'. It is a fear based program keeping all the parts and memories in control.

The best thing I found against fear is love. Most of my parts don't want to live in fear or separation so I appeal to their need to love and be loved. I ask them are they happy and usually the answer is no. So I ask them what would make them happy and often they tell me. It may be to be hugged, or play games or the like. So we sit down and write a new job description doing something they like - for example with the perpetrator parts loving and helping instead of scaring. As one after another takes this healing path the other parts watch and are encouraged to do the same and so the fear based disassociation dissolves.

As part of this strategy I will get the perpetrator parts to take off their disguises (because that's all they are - costumes where they are dressed up as perpetrators such as parents or 'demons' or the like) and if they do that in front of the 'servant/child' parts then often the response is laughter from the 'kids' as the persecuted parts see that this parts they feared are really just part of them.

The middle soldier parts are included in this and encouraged to think for themselves instead of feeling it is their duty to follow orders - whether religious or army orders. The purpose is to empower each part of you so you begin to love all of you. As this happens then the psyche naturally integrates. Emotions such as fear, shame, guilt etc are replace with love, kindness, gentleness and understanding.

Often I will get the experience of newly loved child parts presenting in my body and I get them to see that the body has grown and we are no longer a child. As the child part gains this understanding I find it rapidly integrates (3 to 6 months) into the whole, going from a child, into puberty and then into adulthood and when it reaches my current age it is typically fully integrated.

As this happens more memories return but you become good at dealing with them. What terrified you in the beginning no longer does. I find I still have a sadness at what humans can do to each other but I am strengthened by the knowledge that our capacity for good far outweighs our capacity for evil. As the saying goes "all the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle".

I also have found as I remember more of my past I no longer need to expend energy holding those 'scary' memories in. The childhood freezes release from my body (I also do daily shaking exercises while I visualise the trauma leaving my body) and I move through this world lighter and free-er.

With time I become more active and less reactive to life around me. I dont need to prepare myself for every situation coming up but can relax more and more. I hold onto the love and find joy in even the smallest of places. It is a truly wonderful journey.

Compromise

This is the behaviour we hear allegations about with Epstein, Hugh Heffner, Puff Diddy and so on. Entrapment and then compromise as a way to control people of influence.

This is where children (and adults) are put in positions where they were compromised so they can be then controlled and abused and used.

As a little child around age 3 (as well as for all of my childhood) I was totally neglected by my parents as a way to create a deficit in me (never hugged, talked to, treated with any value) so that I would crave their attention as would be natural for a child towards normal parents. Then at night my father would all of a sudden come into my room, treat me nicely, give me attention and then stimulate me sexually (against my will) till I got an erection. He would then try and use this as proof that I wanted his sexual abuse and that I was just like him. I didn't I hated it. He would then use my response to his unwanted stimulation as a threat that if I didn't do as he asked he would shame me by telling everyone that I had an erection when he was near me. This is their standard playbook.

On another occasion my older brother Rick didn't do what he was told immediately. my father buried me alive in a box in the sand and my older brother was told it was his fault that I was buried and I was going to die because he didn't do what he was told. It's all about manipulation.

A good friend as a little girl was put in a room with her mother and told by her uncle that he was going to rape one of them and she had to choose. She chose to protect her mother.

It is these appalling mind games that cult/intelligence members do. Often these things will be filmed as records to manipulate and control especially when its adults in positions of power they are subjecting these things to. Shame and exposure often force people into compliance.

Yet every time my abusers did these things to me and others I watched them diminish more and more till there was very little left of their souls. They thought they were clever and instead they were destroying themselves in the process. And then they end up destroying each other because all they can operate on is a dog eat dog basis. A friends father thought if he drank the blood of 100 humans he would get eternal life. She reckons he probably did it. He died 5 years ago. The deceivers are the most deceived of all.

Researching your past

When my memories first started coming back it was hard to place them and I thought where does all this come from. With time and research I was able to place dates, places and people to my history and so validate the memories that were coming through. It took time and I found to do a bit and then take a break and ponder through what I had done and learnt and then do some more and so on worked really well. I kept notes and records including hard copies on paper.

Some of the ways I researched to build a solid body of facts that back up my memories were as follows. Also see the history section as I will be posting research as it comes to hand;

1. Memories; Trust yourself!. Write down your memories, no matter how strange or out there they seem, in word or art. With time and research often they come to make sense. That's been my experience. In the beginning some of my memories were like 'What?!' And now they are 'aaagh,' now that makes sense, I see where that fits in. With time as you do this and when you are ready, more memories will come.

2. Family documents - get a copy of as many of these as possible, especially those with family, friends and associates in them. I found in researching my past it was the company they kept that gave me the connections to the intelligence agencies, the government, corrupt officials, criminals and so on. I was able to take these names, organisations and places and research news stories about them and sure enough followed a trail that validated what I had remembered.

3. Family stories - Write down what you've been told and file this but don't take it as fact unless you are sure and have it backed up by multiple sources. My mother would tell me all sorts of lies about my past to confuse me, gaslight me to make me question myself and throw me off track and also attack me. The more I researched the more her lies became evident. My brother told me a huge pile of his memories of his abuse and then 2 weeks later came and told me he had made it up. I knew he hadn't and all his memories validated mine, so I kept a record of them.

4. Geneology There are extensive resources online as well as Genealogy sections in most libraries. There are also a lot of books to guide you through. One that I have found very helpful is as follows;

Scottish Genealogy (4th edition) by Bruce Durie. Even if you are not Scottish it explains a lot about researching, types of DNA tests etc.

5. DNA tests - I got my family DNA tests for Christmas one year. It uncovered a lot of surprises and brought into question a lot of what I had been told. A significant amount of people find their family may not be the relations they thought or were told they were.

Also keep in mind cult families bloodlines are very important and the bloodline members are above the non bloodline members. There are also significant obvious genealogical traits with ritual abuse survivors of bloodlines including heterochromia, and so on. Incest within cult families is also predominant and can result in genetic deformities such as cleft palates, club feet, Habsburg jaw and so on. Many of us have interesting healing abilities as well as pronounced psychic abilities.

6. Location History; Read about the areas where you grew up, what happened in those areas by whom and at what time. This gives valuable clues. Also research the local institutions you attended including schools, colleges, clubs, hospitals and so on. Do any of them have books about their history? What about politics in the area at that time, who was in power and what decisions were made? Was there cult activity in the area? masonic? did children go missing, murders etc. All this provides pieces to the puzzle.

7. Listen to other survivors stories. This was of huge benefit to me as I saw very distinct patterns between what I and other survivors had gone through across the world. They use the same playbook. Often as Id be listening to other survivors testimonies I'd be thinking "I went through that", or "they did that to me" and so on. Also I noticed there were definite patterns in how we as survivors were treated by authorities and how they refused to act, tried to undermine us and also tried to incarcerate us.

8. Research the cult/intelligence agency/political practices. This for me was incredibly helpful and in the page on resources I have listed numerous books I have read with a precis on each. These were invaluable and I was able to rely on other peoples research to empower my own.

Have a look at the resource page for lists of websites, books, movies and survivor stories

Podcasts - Many podcasters are now talking about and interviewing people about MKUltra as follows

Joe Rogan on MKUltra -

Phillion on MKUltra -

DNA tests. Fingerprinting was first used in forensic science in 1986.

"Ancestry" was founded in 1996 by 2 Americans.

"MyHeritage" was founded in 2003 by Israeli.

With different DNA tests

In looking at cult history there are Countries where cults are stronger such as Italy (incorporated with the Mafia), Germany, Scotland, Ireland and England.

A youtube channel comparing DNA tests

Australian research resources;

Most libraries have local history sections and genealogy sections.

Trove - News articles dating before 1955.

Australian National Archives based in Canberra

Australian National Library based in Canberra.

State Library of NSW based in Sydney

Local Library - Kogarah Like most local libraries has a local history section

Kogarah Local Historical Society - typical of most areas

Masonic Lodges often have books on their histories.

Of note.

At the end of the second world war America, Australia, Canada and the UK took in most of Germany's occult scientists who had done horrific experiments on the Romano Gypsies and the Jews. They wanted their expertise and research. This was called Operation Paperclip and well worth educating yourself over. Some of these scientists were given prominent positions in the United States Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and one Werner von Braun even headed up National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). This NAZI culture of evil then pervaded these organisations and allegedly they attracted birds of a feather like the Italian Mafia and became bedfellows. This resulted in many Government Organisations becoming criminal enterprises where the CIA became involved in human trafficking, drug running and the like. There are numerous books on this. There are also allegations that the Illuminati were behind these new organisations and were a front group for them. They were also fascinated with hypnosis and mind control and under the excuse of "National Security" became experts in it at a time that Television was making its introduction to Society. As a little child the experiments these people and others did on me (and others) in Kogarah, Sydney as a way to program the masses through TV I still feel to this day. This program went by the name of MK Ultra.

The CIA brought MKUltra again to Sydney Australia in 1960. It was very involved at the time with the Psychology Department of Sydney University. Australian Sydney University Psychology student Psychologist Peter Sheehan worked with Martin Orne of the CIA and then Sheehan went back with Orne to the USA where he spent almost a decade doing further mind control research. Sheehan later came back to Australia and took on significant positions of influence including unsurprisingly the chief censor for Australian Television. Other students and staff at the Sydney University School of Psychology have been named by a litany of survivors (with corroborated stories/experiences) as their handlers, as occultists and as perpetrators of horrific child abuse.

Sydney University during the period of early to late 60s was connected to St George Public Hospital in Kogarah, Sydney during which time myself and other survivors of ritual abuse were born (including Fiona Barnett). St George Hospital in Kogarah was near Sydney International (Kingsford Smith) Airport which is significant as the CIA is one of the covert owners of airlines and aircraft. The NSW Government also made St George Hospital the hospital responsible for any aircraft emergency at the airport.

Kogarah is also in between the city of Sydney and Lucas Heights Nuclear Reactor (opened in 1958) and Holsworthy Army Base (established in the 1880s), both locations named by different survivors as locations where they experienced cult and ritualistic abuse at the hands of Intelligence Agencies.

What becomes apparent as one starts to research MKUltra in Sydney, Australia (and around the world) is that in the 1950s there was a massive transfer of power from Government and professional institutions to intelligence agencies, especially the CIA and ASIO. In Australia in the late 1950s a new law was brought in to restrict the age of doctors on Hospital Boards so this allowed the powers that be to retire many board members and replace with candidates of their own choosing. This also happened at St George Hospital in Kogarah.

The MKUltra and CIA activities however wern't restricted to Sydney and soon were being extended to other universities including Australian National University in Canberra (ANU) where Aldous Huxley's relative Leonard Huxley became vice Chancellor. Macquarie University, the University of Queensland and the University of Western Australia have all been alleged as institutions of interest with regards the CIA and MKUltra.