Welcome to my blog. This blog is intended to be a resource base for survivors of trauma - especially those who have survived ritual satanic abuse and/or MKUltra however a lot of what we share here will also help those who are survivors of sexual and physical abuse.

As a survivor of RSA/MKUltra myself I want to share what Ive learnt, resources, places and people that have helped me and my journey of how I overcame and am overcoming extreme trauma and achieving success in life.

Here I will talk about my joys and sorrows, and reflections on how I see that I have learnt from my experiences, and how I found the inspiration, strength and ability to overcome my challenges.

If you are interested you can also read about my story - link at the top right hand side of the page.

I will also link other survivors in who have an online presence.

Many have become dear friends and a huge part of my healing.

They also have navigated a healing path through many different modalities and have a lot to share and teach. Please have a look at their contribution as you may find they have things that help and align with you.

Welcome

Where to begin?

It all starts with you!

For survivors

If you have been through abuse and it seems too painful to address realise that with time you do get good at dealing with it and it does get easier, a lot easier. Usually the first step feels overwhelming and the floodgates open but with time that slows down to a manageable trickle and by then you have a well developed set of skills to deal with your past and better yet you are lighter, happier and make your way through this world in an easier, lighter and less reactionary fashion. My life now is amazing compared to before I started dealing with it where I was uptight, sensitive, reactionary and overwhelmed. Now I can relax and enjoy every day and those around me.

There are also a lot of people out there who can help and a lot of modalities that you can pick and choose from so you can manage how you deal with with your past in a way that suits you. Trust me its worth it. I feel amazing compared to how I felt when it was all trapped inside and I was soooo uptight. There are also a lot of people who have gone through what you have gone through so you are far from alone. People who feel what you feel and hope for what you hope for. Sometimes we just have to be brave, have to be courageous and take that first step.

You deserve to heal. You deserve to love and be loved. With a lot of abuse we are treated as worthless, but that is a lie, you/we are totally worthy, the worthlessness is what we become when we mistreat others. I watch with my parents and every time they hurt someone else they hurt themselves more. Every time they mistreated others they diminished. Whereas every time we love ourselves and others we grow. As survivors of trauma we need to say I am worthwhile, I choose to heal, I choose to love and be loved, I choose to do whatever it takes to become whole again.

With every survivor that speaks out, we have another piece to the puzzle, another testimony adding weight to collective awareness of these anti human activities and a growing army of truth tellers making it hard for the corrupt in power to hide or pretend their evil doesn't go on. These bullies are cowards and it is my experience that they have a lot more to fear than we do. My experience is if they are not too far gone they hate themselves for what they do and part of the journey is for them also to have a change of behaviour.

To love another person is to see the face of God Les Miserables.

1. What can I do?

It all starts with you too.

For non-survivors

Many people feel helpless or overwhelmed in light of what seems to be insurmountable tragedies or evil. We need to realise that the people who do these repulsive things have mental health issues, are not stable and make stupid decisions based on their own inflated egos and their fear of being caught out. They are desperate for positions of power because that gives them a sense of control and safety - even though that sense is often false.

The best thing we can do is talk about this, acknowledge that it happens and is widespread and get the word out. No its not a great topic, no its not fun realising this goes on in the world, yes you can ignore it but doing so only enables it to grow. We have to make the hard decisions to face things no matter how confronting or painful in order to move forward and in order to protect the children and vulnerable of this world. These networks are still operating.

Practical things that can easily be done;

  1. Live with awareness. Watch the kids and vulnerable around you. If people seem to be unusually under stress ask them if they are OK. Ask children if they are OK.

  2. Spread the word. Tell people about this site and/or others. Whatever you feel free to send out. Post on social media and so on. If you know people in authority then send it to them.

  3. Research. If you are a reader and writer start researching and see if you can add to the expanding body of knowledge. These groups operate on secrecy so the more we can bring into the light the better.

  4. Add your name. There are petitions that you can add your name to demanding the authorities act. That they don't incriminates them.

    Beaumont children petition

Why are the bloodlines so important to the cults? Because this is the grandstand that they preach their version of moral superiority from. And if you believe you have moral superiority then you can justify the most heinous behaviour against other humans (history is full of examples).

To the ritual satanic cults they believe they have a bloodline from the gods (fallen angles) through the Nephilim and/or Seraphim. That's why they (as in the monarchy etc) view the rest of humanity as cockroaches that they can mass exterminate and perform experiments on. To your face they will be as sweet as pie but behind your back they are actively pursuing your demise. We have recently seen this with Gates, Trudeau, Soros and a long line of narcissistic murderers. And that's why even if you were stupid enough to join the cults unless you have the bloodline you are always going to be second fiddle and disposable.

Heterochromia is a condition of the eyes where they have more than 1 colour to the iris (see here for a description of different parts of the eye). It is an extremely rare condition being 1% of 1% of the world. The different types of heterochromia are as follows;

Complete heterochromia - where each eye is a different colour (as seen in some animals),

sectoral heterochromia where a part of the eye or each each is a different colour, and then there is

central heterochromia where the inside of the iris is different colour to the outside of the iris.

If we look at eye colour most of the world (70-80%) has brown eyes, then blue eyes at approx. 10%, hazel eyes at 5% and grey eyes at 3%. The least common eye colour (apart from albino/red/violet) is green eyes at 2%. Of green and hazel eyes they predominantly come from Scotland and Ireland though there are also some from Egypt. Scotland has connections to Egypt and the Scottish are red haired as are the giants of history. The giants by virtue of their size are likely to be descendants of the Annunake. or Nephilem or maybe they are one and the same.

OK so here is the thing for such a rare eye condition such as heterochromia then why is it so prevalent amongst celebrities? Are these celebrities more likely to be compliant to their producers? handlers?. Why is heterochromia so prevalent in modern movies created by Hollyweird? What are we being programmed and preconditioned for?

I am also finding nearly all of my friends who have come through MKUltra and or ritual satanic abuse have heterochromia as well. The question is why?

One is that it is an easy way to identify those that are able to disassociate, a highly valuable trait for the cults/intelligence services. This is because not only are highly dissociative people able to go into hypnotic states easier but that makes them much easier to be able to be programmed. If they are easier to be programmed, especially like the Manchurian Candidates then they are more valuable disposable assets to intelligence agencies like the CIA as they can be programmed to carry out false flags (mass shootings) and the like and then forget about it after. Its not surprisingly a lot of these young men who carry out these attacks are dazed lately as they dont realise what they have done. This way the CIA effects social change while publicly keeping its hands clean. In private its another story. When you look at the development of programming through TV/Social media etc most people have now witnessed over 1600 murders through movies etc and this trauma can also make people more programmable especially those who are already dissociative and who have ancestral trauma.

A comment online was that heterochromia indicated twins in one body. Are they real twins, the cult practice of twinning, complete disassociation? Or a combination of the 3? Heterochromia can also indicate two sets of DNA, one in the blood and one in the flesh. If you have a twin who was killed then is it likely you can still communicate to them through the soul state (maybe part of the reason many of us survivors are so psychic). Twins normally have a high level of telepathy. Helen Greaves in her book Testimony of Light (a small thin book well worth the read) talks about how 2 nuns in the 1960s (non twins) learnt to read each others minds and could still communicate after one of them died.

About 1 in 8 people had a twin in utero that didnt survive to full term. That's 12.5% of the population. They are developing DNA tests to confirm. Are these people more likely to have heterochromia? More likely to be dissociative? More likely to be programmable? The Yoruba culture in Nigeria has the highest rate of twins in the world (4.4%). Originally they were routinely killed as they were feared because of their psychic powers but until in modern times they came to be revered.

So were starting to see patterns. Does correlation mean causation - sometimes, but not all. Further research is ongoing on this fascinating topic.

Bloodline traits and genetic abnormalities

Researching your past

When my memories first started coming back it was hard to place them and I thought where does all this come from. With time and research I was able to place dates, places and people to my history and so validate the memories that were coming through. It took time and I found to do a bit and then take a break and ponder through what I had done and learnt and then do some more and so on worked really well. I kept notes and records including hard copies on paper.

Some of the ways I researched to build a solid body of facts that back up my memories were as follows. Also see the history section as I will be posting research as it comes to hand;

1. Memories; Trust yourself!. Write down your memories, no matter how strange or out there they seem, in word or art. With time and research often they come to make sense. That's been my experience. In the beginning some of my memories were like 'What?!' And now they are 'aaagh,' now that makes sense, I see where that fits in. With time as you do this and when you are ready, more memories will come.

2. Family documents - get a copy of as many of these as possible, especially those with family, friends and associates in them. I found in researching my past it was the company they kept that gave me the connections to the intelligence agencies, the government, corrupt officials, criminals and so on. I was able to take these names, organisations and places and research news stories about them and sure enough followed a trail that validated what I had remembered.

3. Family stories - Write down what you've been told and file this but don't take it as fact unless you are sure and have it backed up by multiple sources. My mother would tell me all sorts of lies about my past to confuse me, gaslight me to make me question myself and throw me off track and also attack me. The more I researched the more her lies became evident. My brother told me a huge pile of his memories of his abuse and then 2 weeks later came and told me he had made it up. I knew he hadn't and all his memories validated mine, so I kept a record of them.

4. Geneology There are extensive resources online as well as Genealogy sections in most libraries. There are also a lot of books to guide you through. One that I have found very helpful is as follows;

Scottish Genealogy (4th edition) by Bruce Durie. Even if you are not Scottish it explains a lot about researching, types of DNA tests etc.

5. DNA tests - I got my family DNA tests for Christmas one year. It uncovered a lot of surprises and brought into question a lot of what I had been told. A significant amount of people find their family may not be the relations they thought or were told they were.

Also keep in mind cult families bloodlines are very important and the bloodline members are above the non bloodline members. There are also significant obvious genealogical traits with ritual abuse survivors of bloodlines including heterochromia, and so on. Incest within cult families is also predominant and can result in genetic deformities such as cleft palates, club feet, Habsburg jaw and so on. Many of us have interesting healing abilities as well as pronounced psychic abilities.

6. Location History; Read about the areas where you grew up, what happened in those areas by whom and at what time. This gives valuable clues. Also research the local institutions you attended including schools, colleges, clubs, hospitals and so on. Do any of them have books about their history? What about politics in the area at that time, who was in power and what decisions were made? Was there cult activity in the area? masonic? did children go missing, murders etc. All this provides pieces to the puzzle.

7. Listen to other survivors stories. This was of huge benefit to me as I saw very distinct patterns between what I and other survivors had gone through across the world. They use the same playbook. Often as Id be listening to other survivors testimonies I'd be thinking "I went through that", or "they did that to me" and so on. Also I noticed there were definite patterns in how we as survivors were treated by authorities and how they refused to act, tried to undermine us and also tried to incarcerate us.

8. Research the cult/intelligence agency/political practices. This for me was incredibly helpful and in the page on resources I have listed numerous books I have read with a precis on each. These were invaluable and I was able to rely on other peoples research to empower my own.

Have a look at the resource page for lists of websites, books, movies and survivor stories

Podcasts - Many podcasters are now talking about and interviewing people about MKUltra as follows

Joe Rogan on MKUltra -

Phillion on MKUltra -

DNA tests. Fingerprinting was first used in forensic science in 1986.

"Ancestry" was founded in 1996 by 2 Americans.

"MyHeritage" was founded in 2003 by Israeli.

With different DNA tests

In looking at cult history there are Countries where cults are stronger such as Italy (incorporated with the Mafia), Germany, Scotland, Ireland and England.

A youtube channel comparing DNA tests

Australian research resources;

Most libraries have local history sections and genealogy sections.

Trove - News articles dating before 1955.

Australian National Archives based in Canberra

Australian National Library based in Canberra.

State Library of NSW based in Sydney

Local Library - Kogarah Like most local libraries has a local history section

Kogarah Local Historical Society - typical of most areas

Masonic Lodges often have books on their histories.

Of note.

At the end of the second world war America, Australia, Canada and the UK took in most of Germany's occult scientists who had done horrific experiments on the Romano Gypsies and the Jews. They wanted their expertise and research. This was called Operation Paperclip and well worth educating yourself over. Some of these scientists were given prominent positions in the United States Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and one Werner von Braun even headed up National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). This NAZI culture of evil then pervaded these organisations and allegedly they attracted birds of a feather like the Italian Mafia and became bedfellows. This resulted in many Government Organisations becoming criminal enterprises where the CIA became involved in human trafficking, drug running and the like. There are numerous books on this. There are also allegations that the Illuminati were behind these new organisations and were a front group for them. They were also fascinated with hypnosis and mind control and under the excuse of "National Security" became experts in it at a time that Television was making its introduction to Society. As a little child the experiments these people and others did on me (and others) in Kogarah, Sydney as a way to program the masses through TV I still feel to this day. This program went by the name of MK Ultra.

The CIA brought MKUltra again to Sydney Australia in 1960. It was very involved at the time with the Psychology Department of Sydney University. Australian Sydney University Psychology student Psychologist Peter Sheehan worked with Martin Orne of the CIA and then Sheehan went back with Orne to the USA where he spent almost a decade doing further mind control research. Sheehan later came back to Australia and took on significant positions of influence including unsurprisingly the chief censor for Australian Television. Other students and staff at the Sydney University School of Psychology have been named by a litany of survivors (with corroborated stories/experiences) as their handlers, as occultists and as perpetrators of horrific child abuse.

Sydney University during the period of early to late 60s was connected to St George Public Hospital in Kogarah, Sydney during which time myself and other survivors of ritual abuse were born (including Fiona Barnett). St George Hospital in Kogarah was near Sydney International (Kingsford Smith) Airport which is significant as the CIA is one of the covert owners of airlines and aircraft. The NSW Government also made St George Hospital the hospital responsible for any aircraft emergency at the airport.

Kogarah is also in between the city of Sydney and Lucas Heights Nuclear Reactor (opened in 1958) and Holsworthy Army Base (established in the 1880s), both locations named by different survivors as locations where they experienced cult and ritualistic abuse at the hands of Intelligence Agencies.

What becomes apparent as one starts to research MKUltra in Sydney, Australia (and around the world) is that in the 1950s there was a massive transfer of power from Government and professional institutions to intelligence agencies, especially the CIA and ASIO. In Australia in the late 1950s a new law was brought in to restrict the age of doctors on Hospital Boards so this allowed the powers that be to retire many board members and replace with candidates of their own choosing. This also happened at St George Hospital in Kogarah.

The MKUltra and CIA activities however wern't restricted to Sydney and soon were being extended to other universities including Australian National University in Canberra (ANU) where Aldous Huxley's relative Leonard Huxley became vice Chancellor. Macquarie University, the University of Queensland and the University of Western Australia have all been alleged as institutions of interest with regards the CIA and MKUltra.